


Don't Call me "Shepard", Dammit

by Oroburos



Series: Nate Shepard Saves the Galaxy [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Bilingual Character(s), Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Nathaniel Shepard, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:03:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oroburos/pseuds/Oroburos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein feelings are scary but sex is easy. Why do you gotta make things complicated, Kaidan? (NSFW) (Not Plotless)</p>
<p>The continuing story of my custom Shepard, Nathaniel, chronicled on tumblr while I play through the games (for the first time). This was too big for tumblr. <br/>Takes place immediately after the previous scene ("Don't Lie to Me"), just before Priority:Rannoch</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Call me "Shepard", Dammit

Nathaniel Shepard woke from a nightmare whose details were already fading. For a moment he lay perfectly still. Something was different. Someone was in his bed, someone whose arm was thrown over him and held him down. He wondered why that didn't trigger his panic response.

His brain caught up. _Kaidan_. It was Kaidan's arm over him, Kaidan's chest his face was pressed up against. He replayed the previous night's events in his head and his face burned with embarrassment. _'Nice job, Nate, very fucking impressive. Having a breakdown is definitely the way to impress a guy. Mierda, pull it the hell together.'_

He turned over just enough to get a look at the clock. It was a little over an hour before his alarm normally sounded. Might as well stay up, but he had to figure out how to get out of bed without waking Kaidan. He wasn't sure how he had ended up basically cradled against the major like some kind of distraught child, but it felt...nice, being that close to someone. Waking up to somebody in his bed was nothing new, really, but waking entangled with someone when they were both still clothed? That was entirely new territory.

_'I can't believe he stayed...'_ He shifted his gaze up to the man in his bed. Kaidan was breathing deep and steady, black hair all mussed up from sleep, his face half buried in the pillow. He looked peaceful. Nate found himself staring, noticing the little details like the silver at his temples, the lines and shadows around his eyes. Before he fully realized what he was doing he was reaching up and touching the sleeping man's face. Feather-light, his fingertips explored the texture of Kaidan's lightly stubbled jaw line. They hovered over his lips and brushed at the old white scar. Traced up and around the shell of his ear. His thumb stroked over one thick eyebrow, and was travelling down near the corner of a closed eyelid when the biotic stirred. Kaidan flinched and grumbled. Nate brushed the backs of his fingers over Kaidan's cheek and made a shushing noise. "It's early still," he whispered, "go back to sleep."

Kaidan's eyes blinked open, slowly focused on Nathaniel. The corner of his mouth curled up into a smile. The sight gave him a confusingly floaty feeling and he couldn't help but smile back. "Hey..." Kaidan's hand crept up his back, and he fought the urge to shiver. Then, unexpectedly, he was crushed up against Kaidan again with a face full of the major's white cotton undershirt. "Hey!" He protested, laughed and struggled, but Kaidan only held him tighter and made a disapproving noise.

Nate surrendered, bemused. He expected something more to happen, for Kaidan to start grinding against him or stick his hand down the back of his boxers. But nothing did. Kaidan just held him, rubbing the nape of his neck in an oddly comforting rhythm. Kaidan was warm, warmer than most people who had ended up in his bed. Nate half-remembered something about biotics running hot. ' _He'd probably be a good personal heater in cold Canadian winters...'_

He wondered where _that_ thought came from, and was suddenly aware of how easily he could hear Kaidan's heartbeat right now, clutched up to the man's chest like he was.

Nathaniel was starting to feel out of his depth. Pounding pulses and gasping breaths, those were things he understood. But this quiet entanglement, the sharing of steady breath and heartbeats...it was unfamiliar. And honestly, a little terrifying. He didn't know how to respond to it.

"You're shaking again," Kaidan murmured, voice sleep-thick and even rougher than usual.

"Sorry," Nate apologized into his shirt.

Kaidan rolled him onto his back and hovered over him, worried frown creasing his forehead. _'Diós his eyes are amazing...'_ Nate thought, and then, _'How the hell does he do that with his eyebrows?'_ He was staring, vaguely aware that his hand was hovering up to touch Kaidan's face again. Kaidan's expression softened. His head tilted towards Nate's fingers, leaning in to the touch.

_'I'm dreaming,'_ he thought, and Kaidan leaned down and kissed him.

Nathaniel responded on automatic. His hand, already on Kaidan's face, crept up to play with the curled edges of Kaidan's hair. His body pushed up and sought contact. Kaidan parted his lips, pressed his tongue past the seal of Nathaniel's mouth. The simple kiss turned into a dance of lips and tongues. _This,_ he understood, this physical release. He felt the tension draining out as their bodies started to mesh together.

His hand ran up the back of Kaidan's neck, fingers digging for purchase in the back of his hair. They brushed something metallic and Kaidan tensed up.

Nate stilled. He moved his hand away from the spot. "Ah, sorry. That's your...?"

"Yeah..." Kaidan sounded wary and defensive, and wouldn't look at him.

Nate frowned. "Does it hurt when I touch it?"

Kaidan laughed weakly into Nate's hair. "No...but, ah, don't go sticking your fingers into it or anything, okay?"

Nathaniel brushed his fingers gently over and past the area. "Noted," He said softly, and kissed at Kaidan's neck.

"I know it's a little strange-"

He rolled his eyes and pushed Kaidan over, reversing their positions. Settled over his waist and fixed him with a stare. "Shut up."

Kaidan swallowed. "Yes, sir."

Nate smiled slyly to himself and pulled his shirt off. He could feel Kaidan _stirring_ beneath him, through their clothes, and it sent an anticipatory thrill up his spine.

Kaidan's hands settled onto Nate's hips, brown eyes roaming over him like he'd never seen Nate topless before. He wanted to laugh, Kaidan was so oddly _entranced_. Grinning, he guided Kaidan's fingers to the waistband of his underwear. Kaidan stared up at him. Nate got up on his knees and gave Kaidan an encouraging look. _'What are you waiting for?'_

Kaidan's gaze flicked between Nate's face and his groin. He pressed his lips together- _'Not a lip biter, interesting'_ -and dipped his fingers into the band. He drew the fabric down, slowly, almost reverentially. It made Nate feel kind of awkward. _'Jesus, Kaidan, it's just my cock. I'm not the holy Grail here or anything.'_ But a little voice in the back of his head whispered _That's not true. You're Commander Goddamn Shepard, and you are letting him strip you._

The idea of somebody, _especially_ Kaidan, getting stuck on some kind of hero worship for him made Nathaniel really uncomfortable. He didn't want to be an icon. Hated that he had to act the big bad-ass soldier day in and day out. The last thing he wanted was a...a _sycophant_.

He almost grimaced at the thought. But Kaidan had got his underwear down around his thighs, and he did that _exhale_ thing. Nathaniel focused on him and the major was staring. Transfixed. Nate couldn't help but grin.

The ego boost turned to confusion, though, when Kaidan's hand slid over and touched, not his cock, but his hip. He glanced down.

Kaidan was tracing the cluster of stars on his hip. Touching them lightly like he was afraid of breaking something. Nate bit his lip.

"You still have the tattoos," Kaidan whispered, breathless with an emotion Nate couldn't identify.

"Yeah..." he said, then, "Wait, you knew what they look like?"

Kaidan looked up at him a little sheepishly. "I ah, might've peeked a time or two in the showers..."

Nate grinned broadly. " _Kaidan_."

Kaidan laughed and Nate wondered, had Kaidan really been eyeing him since the SR1? And if so, why hadn't he ever _said_ anything?

Kaidan touched the pink-bordered black star. "This is Ash?" He asked quietly.

Nate made a confirming noise. He went quiet, fighting against the memories it triggered.

_Ashley, fire in her eyes. Ashley saying she had no regrets and he knew it was a lie. I'm sorry, Ash. Give em hell. Tattooist's needle in his skin dulling the pain. Keep a piece of them close to fill the hole they left. Dying didn't hurt as much as coming back to life. Brought back to be the hero. Enemies on all sides, can't drop your guard for a second. I'm all alone out here. She never bought the hype. What would you do, Ash?_

Calloused fingers on his skin brought him back to the present. Kaidan, whiskey smooth eyes soft and...he couldn't put a name to what he saw in Kaidan's eyes. The biotic touched his other tattooed stars, bordered green and red and teal, each in succession. "You'll have to tell me about these ones, sometime."

The way Kaidan's voice was nudging into his head and calming mental tremors before they manifested was...scary.

He tried to brush it off, and resorted to teasing. "I'm not sure how to feel about you fixating on my tattoos and ignoring what's right beside them."

"Oh, I _noticed_ ," Kaidan said, his voice low and husky and giving Nate a hooded stare. "But, ah, _these_..." his fingertips slid up and traced the black vines cresting over Nate's hips, sending a shudder through him he couldn't suppress, "...they draw the _eye_..." His touch followed the curve of ink down to where it disappeared into a black patch of hair. He stopped just short of where Nate _wanted_ him to touch, and looked at him with eyes dark and dilated and a predatory grin that sent blood rushing to his groin.

"Did I just find a weak spot in your armor, Commander?" Kaidan teased.

"Don't call me that," Nate exhaled.

Kaidan made a low noise and murmured his name, " _Nathaniel_ ," like an oath, and _fuck_ he even pronounced it right. And Kaidan took his rising cock in hand and stroked him, pulling, twisting. Nate couldn't stop the noise that drew out of him. The angle was strange, but Kaidan knew what he was doing. Nathaniel's eyes fell closed and his breath grew heated. His hips rolled with the movement. Kaidan's other hand was tracing the vines on his hip and sending shivers through him. He didn't hold back the groans that tore out of his throat, the hitches in his breath when Kaidan teased over the velvet head.

The pad of Kaidan's thumb rubbed his dampening slit and Nate's abdominals tensed and curled him forward. He clutched at Kaidan's shirt and the biotic _exhaled_. "God, Shepard..."

Nathaniel hid a grimace. _'Don't CALL me that!'_

He had to pull away, had to wrest back control of the situation.

"Hey...Hey!" Kaidan protested as Nate crawled backward off the bed. "Where you goin'?"

Nate gave him a grin intended to disarm him. "I can't have _all_ the fun." He got his feet beneath him and kicked his underwear away. Then got down on his knees between Kaidan's legs. The biotic had sat up and tried to follow Nate as he pulled away and was now looking down at him. Nate smirked up at him, caught eye contact, and leaned in to nuzzle his face into Kaidan’s underwear--his _tented_ underwear, he noticed. He heard Kaidan's breathing catch and grinned to himself.

Nate had always found something erotic in being naked while his partner was clothed. He put that heat into the expression he shot Kaidan while he mouthed at the man's erection through the fabric. Kaidan was staring, dumbfounded. Nate tried hard not to laugh. _'That’s right._ ' He thought, _'I‘m Commander Goddamned Shepard, and I'm about to suck your cock.’_

He considered pulling Kaidan’s clothes off with his teeth but decided it might be a little much. And besides, he didn’t want Kaidan entirely bare just yet. Instead, he just reached in and grabbed what he wanted. He pulled Kaidan’s member out into the air and shoved the underwear’s elastic band under his balls, smirking at the surprised noise the major made. Then he was gentler, running fingers down the length in exploratory touches. Kaidan was thicker than he’d expected, and hairy. He had a hell of a bush, but Nate could work with that. He buried his nose in it, drinking in the intimate scent. Kaidan’s scent. He looked up, and nearly laughed at the slack jawed expression Kaidan was giving him. “Problem, Kay?” he teased. Then he traced a slow path up the shaft with his tongue.

Kiadan shuddered and swallowed. “I...ah…I didn’t expect you to be so...”

“-so much of a slut?”

Kaidan froze. He focused on Nate, and frowned. "That's not what I-...I was going to say _enthusiastic_."

Nathaniel laughed it off, and took Kaidan into his mouth. The major gasped, tensing.  Nate bobbed up and down a few times to get his jaw used to Kaidan's shape. He was definitely thick. He felt good in Nate's mouth. It had really been too long since he'd gotten to do this.

Kaidan seemed the type to like eye contact, so Nate trained his eyes upward while he sucked down, humming a vibration.

Kaidan's dark eyes were locked onto his, but the major was still way too tense. Nate concaved his cheeks as he pulled back, slow, pushing his tongue up against the shaft. He teased the head with his lips a little, then his tongue darted out again and danced around the sensitive edge of foreskin. Kaidan had a good taste to him. Kept himself cleaner than most marines Nate had been with. ' _But of course he would, it's **Kaidan**. I could get used to this...'_

He sucked down again, making a lewd little groan because, hell, why not give the guy a show?  He flicked his eyes up, saw Kaidan pressing his lips together. Kept the contact while he swallowed down. _Damn_ but Kaidan was thick. Nate felt a bit of triumph that he could take the guy. It had been a long time since he'd deep throated anybody. He rubbed his nose into the biotic's pubic hair, dipped his tongue out to taste his balls.

Kaidan wasn't making any _noise_ though. He was watching, and frowning slightly.His breath a little heavy, and from the way his cock was twitching in Nate's mouth he was _definitely_ feeling it. So what the hell was the matter? He pulled back again slowly, gave the head some more attention, and tried to figure out what he was doing wrong.

Calloused fingertips brushed at his forehead in a strange, surprising movement. Nate looked up at Kaidan and frowned. "S'matter?"

He couldn’t read Kaidan’s expression at all, which was unsettling. “You give head like you’re getting graded on it,” Kaidan said, quietly.

Nate snorted. “Am I not getting a good grade? If you’re not feeling the BJ I can do something else--”

“Hey,” Kaidan interrupted him. He frowned, sat back a little. “I just… I feel like your heart’s not really in this, Nate.”

“What are you talking about?”

Kaidan paused, and he got that ‘thinking’ look on his face. Nate pulled back away from him. _‘What does he want from me?’_

He sat down on the floor, eyeing the biotic and waiting. Hoping he wasn't about to get some kind of _values_ speech. If Kaidan didn't like the fact that he knew what he was _doing..._

Kaidan was supposed to have his back, not goddamn _judge_ him.

Kaidan sighed, tucked himself away and leaned his elbows on his knees. Nate watched and waited, trying to figure out why he had these stupid nervous jitters in his stomach.

“Listen...Nate,” Kaidan finally said, "I don't want to be just a warm body in your bed, all right? And I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to-"

“Kaidan," He interrupted sharply, "if you don’t want to do this, just-”

“-I _**do**_.” Kaidan snapped back. He gave Nate one of those serious, piercing looks. “I do,” he repeated softly. “...But I want it to _mean_ something.”

"Mean something?" He repeated, confused.

"I mean I..." Kaidan stopped. Sighed. Got down onto the floor and closed the distance between them. "All right." He reached out for Nate's hand. Opened his mouth and...hesitated.

" _Diós_ , spit it the hell _out_ already, Kay."

He laughed. "Okay." He held Nathaniel's hand, lightly, and focused on his face. "I do want this...want _you_. But Not just as a sex thing. You know?"

Nate frowned at him.

"Not that I don't like sex, because ah..." and he looked Nate over, once, and grinned, appreciative. Nate smiled at that. Then Kaidan cleared his throat and continued. "But I don't want you to think that's all I want or...all I see you as."

"Am I moving too fast for you or something?"

"Ah, no...well, maybe a little bit." He smiled. "You're kind of overwhelming sometimes."

Nate smiled weakly, then looked away. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Kaidan looked concerned.

"Kaidan, answer me something. What...who do you want here? Do you want Commander Shepard or do you want _me_?"

"...you lost me."

"I mean..." he gestured in a vague dismissive manner, "do you want the war hero, living legend, blah blah..." Then turned to Kaidan with a hard stare. "Or do you want **_me_**? Because if you want _me_ you're getting all of it; the fucked up, broken pieces and the parts you don't _agree_ with, too."

Kaidan frowned. He got that _thinking_ look again. "You think..." he said slowly, "you're two different people?"

"You know what I mean, Kaidan."

"No, I really don't." Kaidan shook his head. "The...The hero who saved the Citadel and," he grinned, "who drove a Mako through a relay to do it?" He tilted his head a little. "And the kid who'd climb on top of rooftops to look at the stars-"

Nate snorted. "I can't believe you remember that story."

Kaidan smiled at him. "All those pieces are _you_ , Nate. All of it. And I..." He hesitated, looked down, then turned his eyes up to meet Nathaniel's gaze. "I want to see every part of you that you're willing to show me."

"Even the fucked up parts?" He pushed, needing to be certain.

Kaidan gave him a little smile. "Especially those." He shifted, got to his feet, leaned down and held his hand out.

Nate stared up at him. His stomach did a little flip. He'd never let anyone close before, not like this, and his instincts screamed to flee. But this was _Kaidan_. Kaidan, who'd been stubbornly nudging past his armor since he woke up in that hospital. No...before that. They'd been close after Saren. And maybe, if Nate hadn't died, things might've gone this way even sooner.

They'd hit rocky parts. It had been a long three years, and they had both gone through a lot of things. They weren't the same people they used to be.

But...he _needed_ Kaidan. The thought of Kaidan not being _there_ , of not having his biotic on his six, was much worse than the idea of letting him _in_.

He supposed that if anyone was going to break in and see the messed up parts of him, it wasn’t so bad that it was Kaidan. If it was anyone, it would be him.

_'Shit. I’m in trouble.'_

He took Kaidan’s hand.

He was pulled suddenly to his feet. He nearly lost his balance, but Kaidan caught him. Their eyes locked again, and the look in Kaidan's eyes set his heart skipping.

Kaidan leaned in and claimed him in a kiss. His hand settled on Nathaniel's nape, holding him close.

Nate found himself pressing towards the biotic without consciously deciding to. Their hands were still clasped together. Their grips shifted, fingers interlocked. Kaidan squeezed his hand and he made a quiet exhalation into the kiss. Kaidan pulled back just enough to smile at him. Then claimed Nate's other hand and pulled both towards himself.

Kaidan guided Nathaniel's hands to his waist. He curled Nate's fingers into his shirt, and encouraged him to pull it up and off. Nate's eyes traced the lines of Kaidan's chest. Then his hands did, roaming slowly. He threaded his fingers through the hair on Kaidan chest and wondered how it would feel against his face. He traced a long scar Kaidan had picked up from Mars, and wondered how long it would take him to memorize the planes of Kaidan's body. Testingly, he brushed his thumb across one of Kaidan's nipples. Kaidan made a low noise in his throat that sounded like approval.

Kaidan pressed close. His hands slid down Nate's back and settled on his ass.  Kaidan groped him hard and ground their hips together. Nathaniel groaned at the friction of his cock against cloth. He could feel Kaidan through it, still hard. Kaidan's mouth was at his neck. He bared it without thinking. Kaidan nipped at him in a tease, and suddenly Nate was being walked backwards. His hands gripped Kaidan's shoulders and he barely avoided tripping up the stairs. He felt uncoordinated. His heart was pounding. He wasn't in control and it was terrifying.

The door to the bathroom slid open with a whisper. Then they were inside, Nate up against the wall with the tile pressing into his back. Kaidan pulled back and gave him an inquiring look. He tilted his chin towards the small storage area next to the sink. Kaidan went to search and Nate was left there, leaning against the wall, wondering why he was so afraid.

Kaidan came back with a black tube in his hand and frowned at him. "Hey..."

Nate cursed his nerves. Of course Kaidan would notice. Kaidan dipped his head to keep the eye contact Nate was avoiding. "You ok?" He asked, gently.

Nate leaned his forehead against Kaidan's. He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. Kaidan gave him time. He stilled his thoughts, focused on his breathing. Raised a hand to Kaidan's chest, and tried to calm his heart to the rhythm of Kaidan's breath. In a few moments, he tilted his head up. He met lips waiting to press against his own. Quiet. Gentle. He leaned into Kaidan and pushed towards him. Hands snaked around his body, tracing over his shoulders.

He shivered. He broke from the kiss, and murmured Kaidan's name into his ear.

Kaidan _exhaled_ , shuddering. He nudged Nathaniel's legs apart. Leaned in and crowded him up against the wall, claimed his bared neck with his teeth. Nate's hips pushed against the biotic and ground at him through the black military briefs he still had on. There was a soft click, a hum in the air, and Nate caught sight of the tube floating back over to the sink. ' _Convenient'_. Kaidan's arms slid back around Nate's torso. He settled his stance, knew what was coming and practically ached in anticipation. He felt Kaidan's fingers tickle down his spine, felt his back arc in response. Felt himself jerk suddenly with an involuntary yelp when Kaidan found that little spot above his tailbone. Kaidan pulled back and looked at him. Nate bit his lip around a grin and looked away. Kaidan gave a low little chuckle and teased at that spot, drawing out an embarrassing series of whimpering protests. Other fingers, cool and slick, slid down into his cleft and teased him there. Nathaniel wrapped his arms around Kaidan's shoulders and clung. He pushed himself against Kaidan's hips again while those damned fingers rubbed circles over his opening. The contact on his crotch reminded him that Kaidan was still partly clothed and he growled in frustration. He let one of his arms go, reached down and pulled at the offensive fabric. Kaidan laughed at him. Nate got back at him by digging his fingernails into the biotic's ass, drawing a deep, rumbling groan. The teasing on Nate's back paused for a moment while Kaidan yanked off the last of his clothing. Once it was off, and kicked out of the way. He wasted no time in pushing Nate back, hard, onto the shower wall. Nathaniel claimed Kaidan's mouth, sucked on that scarred bottom lip.

Kaidan, finally, pushed a finger up inside of him. Nathaniel groaned breathily into Kaidan's mouth. The digit crooked and Nate pushed back against it and almost whined. One was nowhere near enough for him. Kaidan seemed to get the message and drew his finger out, replacing it immediately with two together. He groaned again, louder, pushing back on them. Kaidan twisted his hand, exploring, drew his fingers back and forth to feel him. He had to be wondering at how easy Nate was back there, but he didn't say anything. _'This is part of me, too. You're gonna have to deal with it.'_

Kaidan nuzzled his face into Nate's hair, kept finger fucking him and teasing him as he fumbled wrong-handedly at the shower controls. Nate gasped and writhed as the water cascaded out over them, first too cold, and then too hot. He sputtered, cursing, kept pinned against the wall by Kaidan's body. He buried his face into Kaidan's shoulder, those fingers working inside him. A third digit pushed in, and the ache in his balls was starting to get painful. He wanted... _needed_. Kaidan's fingers brushed a spot inside him and he bit down into the skin of Kaidan's shoulder. Kaidan moaned aloud, and pushed up harder, working that spot and making Nathaniel writhe.

Water ran in rivers down his back, following the curve of taut muscles, pooling over the twisting hand shoved half inside him and flowing down between his thighs. He reached down blindly, grasped Kaidan's cock and pulled at it, wanting, _needing_. His hips pushed back against the fingers that probed and stretched him but weren't quite enough.  Kaidan's free arm was across Nathaniel's shoulders, hand gripped into his hair, holding him close. Nate dug his forehead into Kaidan's neck, stroked the man erratically. " _Metele..."_ he heard himself breathe. Kaidan murmured something he couldn't process. Language was getting mixed up in his head. He latched his teeth on the join of Kaidan's neck and shoulder, was rewarded with a loud rumbling moan from the other man. Kaidan turned his hand and did _something_ that pressed against the back of Nate's balls and made him writhe again. His eyes blinked open through the curtain of water, looked down to keep from blinding himself and there was grey tile and their legs tangled up together and-

He stopped. So did Kaidan.

Nathaniel slid his hand across the skin of Kaidan's hip. Kaidan stayed motionless. He touched the top of Kaidan's thigh, right under where it met his hip. Touched the five point red-and-black banded star, inked into Kaidan's skin.

"When did you get this?" He asked, disbelieving.

Kaidan slid his fingers out and set his hand on Nathaniel's hip. "After you died," he answered, quietly.

Nate traced the tattoo with a fingertip. And Kaidan brushed his thumb lightly over the stars on Nate's hip.

"I didn't know I meant that much to you..." he whispered.

Kaidan's response was barely more than breath across his ear. "You do..."

Nathaniel brought his hands up, cradled Kaidan's face, gently turned it up to look at him. Kaidan wouldn't meet his eyes. He was doing that...that _thing_ with his eyebrows and he looked so needy and vulnerable that Nate felt like he was being stabbed in the heart. He kissed him. Gently, at first, so Kaidan wouldn't think he was pushing him away. A heartbeat later Kaidan made a little strangled noise, leaned in to the kiss and pulled Nate close against himself.

Nathaniel couldn't take it any longer. He dropped his hands to Kaidan's shoulders and gripped, wrapped a leg around Kaidan's thigh and pulled. Kaidan understood. The biotic got his hands on the back of Nate's thighs and lifted, pinned  him up against the wall. Nate wrapped arms and legs around him and clung.

Kaidan’s erection nestled in his cleft and Nate exhaled a heady, anticipatory breath. He wasn’t sure how they would fit together like this. Kaidan’s hand moved down, his cock angled up. Nate made himself relax, face buried into Kaidan’s hair, breathing him in, his skin tingling. Kaidan pushed in. Slowly, so slowly. Nate found himself unable to breathe. His own cock, trapped between them, pulsed and the groan was torn out of him, relief at finally getting penetrated making his voice shudder. _God_ , Kaidan felt good. Big enough to have him feeling filled, slightly stretched, but not so big it hurt. Just a little bit of burn. As gravity settled him all the way down, he breathed out moan. “Fuck, that’s perfect…”

Kaidan chuckled quietly. For a few moments he just stood there hilted in him. Took a few breaths to get used to the feeling. Then he started moving, holding Nate in place and rocking up into him. Nate let out a few curses and clutched at him.

“You know how to boost a guy’s ego…” Kaidan murmured in that damned low husky voice that sent shockwaves through Nathaniel in time with his breathing. “You...uhm...do this often?”

Nate laughed a little, breathless. “Well I am kind of a slut…” He hitched a little as Kaidan gripped his thighs, the angle shifting just a little in a way that made him shiver.

Kaidan nipped gently at his neck, murmuring softly into his skin. “Don’t call yourself that…”

Nathaniel gripped at him, pulled at him with his legs, trying to draw him even closer. To pull him in deeper. Kaidan groaned into his neck, breath hot and stinging the skin he's been biting at.

“Actually…” Nate admitted, breathless and unsteady, “hasn’t been anyone but you in… almost a year…”

“Really?” Kaidan looked up at him in surprise.

Nate took the opportunity to dig his face into Kaidan’s hair and nip his earlobe.  “Mm… I’m a big damn celebrity now. Can’t just bring a stranger home from a bar…too dangerous. Too many enemies.”

Kaidan made a thoughtful sound. “Huh. I guess that’s why you were so...uh...enthusiastic.”

Nate grumbled. “Will you just shut up and fuck me already?”

Kaidan laughed. “Yes, sir…”

He made good on his word, using his mouth for more interesting things, like sucking on Nate’s collarbone. Nate groaned and writhed as Kaidan rocked up into him, shoving into him. Made encouraging sounds when Kaidan angled up in the right way, hands gripping at him as their bodies found the right rhythm to rock against each-other. The water still ran over them, cooling heated skin. Kaidan’s hair was plastered to his head and _goddamn_ he looked good like that, panting and grunting like an animal, his brown eyes dark with arousal and his lips swollen from Nate repeatedly biting at them.

Breath entangled, bodies moving, grips tightening and fingers digging into skin...Nathaniel hadn’t realized how badly he’d needed this. And the fact that it was _Kaidan_ , sparked an entirely different kind of warmth in his chest. He felt himself letting go, trusting Kaidan to touch him and hold him, arching his body towards the other man, trying to drive him in deeper. Always deeper. Kaidan’s teeth latched over his pulse point, making him cry out, leaving a stinging sensation that he was sure signalled a rising bruise. That would be fun to try to hide later. He was tensing, Kaidan was tensing. _'Madre de diós he’s so **hard** …'_ Nathaniel swore he could feel  sparks dancing between the contact of their skin, and something in the back of his mind started screaming about water and electricity. He rocked along with Kaidan, pushing towards him, aching for the friction of him against his pulsing cock. His chest was heaving and his fingers were gripped so tight in Kaidan's hair it was like he was claiming him.

Then, Kaidan shoved up, ramming into him, and something hit him deep inside, ran all the way up his spine and shot out of his fingertips and he convulsed, head thrown back in a wordless, silent scream.

He must have blacked out. When the world swam back into existence, when he could breathe again, he was shaking in release. He hadn’t even felt himself come. Kaidan was trembling, too, his face buried into Nate’s neck and gripping his thighs so hard he’d probably bruise there, too. Nathaniel felt the warmth of Kaidan’s release and that weird feeling of the man’s cock starting to go soft inside him. They must have crested together. The water was still running, cleaning them off. He felt a bit like he'd been exploded open and all the air had rushed out, and was now trying to get back in... Nate nudged at Kaidan’s shoulder, trying to say _‘put me down before you drop me’_. But it came out as something more like “Le’m’….-bajo...”

Kaidan slipped out and let him down, but his legs were far from ready to hold his weight. Kaidan caught him as he nearly collapsed, wrapped his arms around Nate’s waist and leaned them both up against the wall, his face still buried in Nate’s neck.

Nate clung to him weakly. It took a while before they both stopped trembling, and longer for Nate to sort out the misfiring signals in his brain. “Je-... ¿qué estaba..? Wh-...” he took a breath and started again. “What the hell just happened?”

“Sorry,” Kaidan said, quiet and muffled.

“Wh-” Nate shook his head, got his feet under him and stood up. “ _Diós_ , what WAS that?”

Kaidan’s grip tightened on him a little. He was tense again.  “It’s ah…” he was nervous. “It’s like a kind of feedback…I um, lost it a little back there and the biotics slipped…”

Nathaniel exhaled heavily, slid his arms around Kaidan’s chest and hugged him tight. “God damn…”

“Sorry,” Kaidan said quietly.

“No, that…” Nate paused, turned and kissed at Kaidan’s temple. He raised his hand and stroked Kaidan’s wet hair back from his face, tried to encourage him to look up. “Kaidan, that was _amazing_.”  

Kaidan peered up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “You’re not…?”

He laughed. “Hell no. Just…” he coughed a little. “Maybe warn me a little next time? I think I need to be mentally _prepared_ for that kind of… _Damn_.”

Kaidan gave him a sheepish smile. He opened his mouth to say something, but just then the alarm back in the bedroom started sounding, loudly.

Nathaniel groaned and knocked his head back against the wall. He yelled, _“¡Cállate!”_ and the noise promptly stopped.

Kaidan finally straightened up, gave him a sympathetic look. “Guess we have to go back to it, now.”

Nate grumbled and reached for the soap. “Yeah, yeah. War isn’t gonna wait for the two of us.”

Kaidan gave him one of those quiet little smiles and leaned up against him. “Hey… just remember you aren’t alone here. Okay?”

“Mm.” Nate kissed him softly, touched the star at the top of his thigh. “I’ll try. But I might need you to remind me.”


End file.
